My biggest obsessions are cameras. I have never felt so … naked and sad before. When I had my cameras, I used to take pictures, you would rarely ever spot me without one or both. They were the most beautiful DSLRs I ever laid my hands upon.

My first was an older ratty Pentax which needed a bit too much help, but I loved it. My second was a D40x and the third beauty which was never really mine was one I played with and worked with while being a photographer for a college newspaper, the D3000, oh, oh, my infatuation!

… I never actually loved photos I know that most people state, my reason is one I don’t really like telling people. It’s… so I can remember… I forget. I forget a lot. I block out memories, or I don’t remember it all. My brain’s bad. I can’t remember a lot, but the pictures, they don’t always make me remember but at least I can see something happened. I have proof! Real proof!

So exciting, so very exciting to hold the photos or look at them… I hide a lot away. I have over 6,000 photos, locked, stored. Sometimes I don’t look at them. I haven’t seen a lot of them after I took them, but I have them… I’ll look at them, I’ll take more some day and I’ll print the majority of the photos… but, I’m not ready.

I’m ready to face that maybe… I can’t remember because I really am a bad person who was never really present for anything, because I can’t remember anything.

(Source: fashionsociety, via nudebeat)