1. Letting Go of Memories
Many people feel that memories are the most important thing they have. They place memories in a treasure chest and cherish them or regret them, depending on the memory, whenever they get a chance to. And as the years go by, this treasure chest is getting heavier and…
“This is how I survived countries that didn’t want me.
1. I hid behind curtains, locked doors and in silence.
No matter how beautiful i was, i never made myself visible.
Too afraid their eyes will gnaw me to my bones.
2. I unlearnt how to laugh.
Afraid my happiness will be the song that ushers me to my early grave. Flowers and gardens can make any foreign soil feel like home. So i dug with hand. Planted like i my life depended on it - it did
3. I buried my ancestors in another tomb. Under my feet. In dust.Under my clothes.
Where noone was looking.
My mouth was a casket too beautiful to hold my mother and grandfather in a country that hated me.
4. I took parts of me I had grown up with and packed them away for when I went back home.
I forgot how to kneel before my grandmother when I greeted her.
5. I spoke as little as possible. My accent, no matter how i shaped words, adding curves to them is how they defined me. I learnt how to cook. I travelled in the meals i made.
6. I never said where I was from. But my name betrayed me. So I denied it. My name was a gun I inherited and handed to them. My countries history was mine to explain and it’s ugly parts became my only story to tell. The only story they’d listen to.
7. I reminded myself i was not a burglar. I was not hoarding boarder stamps. I drank the bile of countries that hated me and knew their rage,grief and pain. I found being alone but not lonely hides many sorrows.
8. The countries that did not want me have never known love like my mothers love.